ENFJ ENFJs are lively and enthusiastic facilitators who apply warmth and vision to helping people and meeting their needs. They are aware of people’s aspirations and develop plans of action to make those aspirations into reality. They like organization and closure. They are at their best facilitating situations that require interpersonal sensitivity. ENFJs are tolerant and appreciative of others, seeking involvement with them in life’s tasks. They are able communicators who are liberal in showing appreciation for others.
Sounds like me?
Sounds like a complete opposite of B?
You’d better believe it
The good news is that our relationship can be described as “tribesmen”. Much better than “contrast” or “novelty”, I guess.
PS. Now all of you on Facebook, go complete that test so I can see if I have more “enigma” or “contrast” relationships!
I ran in to a Facebook app with a Meyers-Briggs (Meyers-Briggs app here). I’ve taken various versions a dozen times, and always the same result. Here it is, the description fits me pretty well, but I’m always interested in the differences I see and those that others see, which oddly enough, fits the description pretty well, damn recursion.
INTJ
INTJs are strong individualists who seek new angles or novel ways of looking at things. They enjoy coming to new understandings. They are insightful and mentally quick; however, this mental quickness may not always be outwardly apparent to others since they keep a great deal to themselves. They are very determined people who trust their vision of the possibilities, regardless of what others think. They may even be considered the most independent of all of the sixteen personality types. INTJs are at their best in quietly and firmly developing their ideas, theories, and principles.
Living
The independent and individualistic INTJ manner appears early in life. As children, INTJs are often inwardly focused on their thoughts of the way the world is or ought to be; they enjoy day dreaming. They can be quite stubborn when information relayed to them by authorities, such as parents and teachers, contradicts what they believe. They are sure of their own belief system. INTJs are compelled to establish their own rules, boundaries, standards, and style.
Often at an early age, INTJs make a commitment to furthering their education. The life of the mind is very important to them. Examples abound of INTJs from economically or intellectually impoverished circumstances setting goals for themselves to continue in education, often earning the highest degree possible.
INTJ teenagers may be seen as serious and reserved young people who are labeled as bookworms by others. They set internal standards of achievement for themselves and often do well academically. Being sociable is a standard that they rarely think is worth their time and energy.
As adults, INTJs are focused on attaining their inner goals and standards. They set a particular course based on their theory of what ought to be. They work extremely diligently to accomplish what they feel is important. They enjoy what they do and see it as a challenge. They are not easily dissuaded and may regard others’ needs and wants as an impediment to attaining their objectives.
Learning and Working
INTJs learn best when they can design their won approach and when they are able to absorb themselves in an area that interests them. They tend to focus on systems, theories, and constructs relating to universal truths and principles. They prefer challenging teachers, ones who meet their standards. High grade-point averages and test scores tend to characterize INTJs, who like rigorous academic work. Learning needs to be a creative process. Rote memory can be dull and boring for the INTJ.
INTJs are diligent in pursuing new ideas and thoughts, and they exert effort to master a given subject. This makes INTJs particularly adept in most school situations. Because of their resourcefulness, thirst for knowledge, and inner needs, INTJs tend to find ways of acquiring knowledge. They gravitate toward libraries, public lectures, courses, and other learners and teachers - sources that offer them information and direction.
At work, INTJs use their conceptual strengths to analyze situations and then develop models to understand and anticipate through relentlessly to reach their goals. They will continue on with their plans, even in the face of adversity and data that might suggest to other more practical types that their goals are no longer feasible. By nature, INTJs are independent individualists. They see their visions so clearly that they are often surprised when others do not see things the same way. INTJs are strong at critiquing and as a result tend to notice the negatives. To them, a job well done should be reward enough in itself. They may neglect to comment favorably on others’ contributions.
INTJs tend to seek occupations that allow them to change the status quo and to design models to express their vision creatively. They desire autonomy and room for growth. They prefer to work in a place in which the future can be planned and where they can work for change in an organized manner.
Some occupations seem to be especially attractive to INTJs: computer systems analyst, electrical engineer, judge, lawyer, photographer, psychologist, research department manager, researcher, scientist, university instructor, and other occupations in which long-range vision is essential.
Loving
For INTJs, love means including someone in their vision of the world. INTJ men tend to be attracted to partners who enjoy living their lives with and outward vitality and zest. Perhaps it is to compensate for their internal, visionary focus that they often find partners who are more outgoing and may even run interference to help the INTJ deal with the day-to-day world. INTJ women, however, may seek someone more like themselves.
INTJs tend to have a model in mind of how their relationship ought to be. This is less a romantic vision than it is and idea that relates to how the relationship functions in a unique or special way. They tend to withhold their deep feelings and affections from the public and sometimes even from the object of their affections. They can be intensely loyal and caring, even though this is not always expressed in words. INTJs can be generous with their gifts if the gift fits their vision of what ought to be appreciated by their partner.
When scorned, INTJs retreat to their own world and may share none of their feelings with others. They may assume that there is a right way for a relationship to end and look for that. They act on the outside as if nothing has happened to them when indeed much has. They may lash out with criticisms of their former loved ones. It may take them a while to recover.
We try not to baby our dog. She does not sleep in the bed with us and she does not get to sit on the couch unless invited. Undesirable behavior gets corrected no matter how cute it is.
Still, I felt very worried and rather guilty when I had to leave my dog in a boarding facility overnight as I was flying out to Minnesota and Ben was yet to come back to the City. I wanted to give Sonya a big hug, tell her that I will miss her and that I will be back before she knew it. I didn’t get a chance though: she walked right into the building and proceeded to explore the insides and to give kisses to the people there and didn’t even notice when I left. What Sonya didn’t realize is that I toured two boarding facilities before settling on that particular one, the other one was the pet-specific hotel where she would have had a choice of puppy back rubs and pool exercise times. That place did look larger and brighter and they had 4 food choices including. That’s where I draw the line. She’s just a dog, not a kid. Right? Right.
That T-shirt that I saw in a fashionable pet store over in Castro is right,”Dogs are the new kids.”
It’s raining outside and it has been for two days. Lucky for all of us, morning was dry and I managed to get in a hour-long walk with Sonya in the park. Since that time, both the dog and I have decided to stay in the comfort of living room. Unfortunately, my canine is not sophisticated enough to use the toilet (or not to eat her own poo), so outside potty breaks are needed. This is how our latest walk played out:
Step one: notice that the puppy is looking for a place to pee. Pick her up (and admire your dog body language recognition skills.)
Step two: proceed downstairs. Put on a rain jacket and shoes. Put on her rain jacket (so cute! so functional!) and a leash.
Step three: go outside and walk up and down the street for about 15 minutes dragging the dog behind you. Stop and tell her to go potty; hope that passing people don’t hear you. Observe as the dog is staring at you marveling at your insanity.
Step four: realize that your jeans are now soaked and no potty is going to happen. Take a deep sigh and bring her back in.
Step five: remove shoes, both rain jackets and the leash.
Step six: wipe her dirty paws.
Step seven: sit back down and pick up a glass of hot chocolate just to put it down immediately as the dog is peeing in front of your flat screen TV.
Step eight: Try not to kick the dog in the head; reach for the paper towels and the cleaning solution.
Step nine: start thinking of the next time she needs to go poo as the rain outside is getting stronger.
